My personal Coat-of-arms


"Any event, once it has occurred, can be made to appear inevitable by a competent historian. - Lee Simonson" -Admin

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"Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian Customs agent stops them and tells them: - "It'sa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro." - "Vot do you mean it'z illegal?" asks the German driver. - "Quattro meansa four" replies the Italian official. - "Qvattro is just ze name of ze automobile", the Germans retort unbelievingly. "Look at ze papers: zis car is designt to kerry 5 persons." - "You can'ta pulla thata one on me!", replies the Italian customs agent. "Quattro meansa four. You hava fivea people ina your car and you are thereforea breaking the law." The German driver replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your zupervisor over, I vant to speak to somevone vA-z more intelligence!" - "Sorry", responds the Italian official, "he can'ta come. He'sa busy with a 2 guys in a Fiat Uno." -admin

"Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "John, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?" John says, "I feel just like a newborn baby." "Really!? Like a newborn baby!?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just pooped my pants."" -admin

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